REAL TALK WITH DANIELLE - Don’t be a Dick to Servers

I’m writing this after a recent event in which I saw some people act so disrespectfully toward a person in the service industry that I had to blog about it. I’m currently traveling in Australia and visited the Cleland Wildlife Park, which is a zoo where you get to interact with all of the animals inside. Meaning, I got to pet kangaroos and feed wallabies for just $20 USD. There are some exhibits at this zoo that cost a little extra. For example, it costs an extra $20 USD to hold a koala.

First of all, this is absurdly cheap. American attractions that allow people to interact with animals usually cost well over $100 USD. Secondly, because there are really limited slots to hold a koala, people line up about an hour early.

Okay, so with that information, we got in line knowing that it might not work out. Once the time came for the exhibit, the keeper announced that there were 7 slots available to hold a koala that day. He also directed us to form two lines: one for people who wanted to hold the koala and one for people who wanted to pet the koala. With that instruction, he opened both gates, and mass chaos broke out as one line of people attempted to divide into two.

I will admit that this was poor crowd control from the start. How difficult would it have been to put two signs out an hour early saying “Hold a Koala” and “Pet a Koala”? And instead of dividing the line up from front to back, the keeper just allowed mass chaos to ensue. So, yes, poor organization.

But people started laying into the zookeeper BIG time. Literally yelling at him because they didn’t get to hold a koala. And the keeper was being as reasonable as possible - apologizing, telling the crowd that he couldn’t have more than 7 slots because it was best for the welfare of the animals - Which one dude MOCKED him for saying! The keeper responded, I’m sorry, but I can’t move you in front of 40 people who also want to see the koala.

I also noticed that a lot of the bad behavior was coming from the parents. Granted, I am not a parent, and I know that parenting is extremely difficult. However, it baffles me how entitled some parents act when their children aren’t treated like the center of the universe. Yes, this attraction had poor organization, but it’s the parent’s responsibility to prepare their children for the potential of not getting exactly what they want. And if you’re unwilling to do this as a parent, maybe you need to look inside at why you have such a strong reaction to not getting exactly what you want.

It wasn’t the zookeepers fault that the zoo doesn’t have proper organization for an attraction like this. MOST government agencies I’ve worked for are terrible at putting small organizational tools (such as signs) into place because of a tight budget. This keeper is more than likely underpaid to take care of koalas for 7 hours of the day and has barely any training in crowd control for the 1 hour per day he works this exhibit.

This was my most recent experience of seeing people in the service industry being treated like dirt, but it certainly wasn’t surprising. I worked in restaurants for most of college, and this was a very common interaction. I’ve seen baristas get yelled at for being out of stock of a menu item. I’ve been yelled at as a hostess for not allowing people to sit at a table with a reserve sign on it. And MOST commonly, I’ve seen servers get no tip or be tipped way under what they deserve.

I’ll address that last one because I think it’s an extremely controversial subject. I’ve heard many people say “You don’t have to tip servers in the United States.” And to that I say, “Yes, you fucking do.”  Why? Because in other countries, restaurants pay their servers. Not only do they pay, they pay enough to live and enough to not have a second job. On a large scale, I wish the US did pay its servers, but since it doesn’t and I’m not willing to enter politics to work toward that large scale change, then I tip servers 20%.

But what if the service sucks?

Then it is more than likely not the server’s fault AND you should still tip them.

The service industry is fucking difficult to be a part of. You basically have to do pseudo-therapy and a lot of physical labor to be a good server. You have to make people feel good about themselves by listening, checking in on them, and giving them what they want. And if these people are mad at you (which is common with people who are hungry), you have to field their anger which will more than likely be directed toward you. What I mean to say is, people learn that this is a difficult position VERY quickly, so it’s rare that I see a weak server lasting in the service industry for more than a few months. So on the off-chance that the terrible service is due to the server, you will likely not be able to discern that anyways, so just tip them.

The reason it’s usually not the server is because restaurant managers are typically people who have a lot of experience waiting tables, and very little management experience. Bad managers send people home too early, and one server gets hit with a rush of tables. Bad managers send people home too late, and too few tables were served, which meant no one made enough in tips. Bad managers set schedules a week in advance instead of a month in advance, and forget about the six reminders you gave them about the week off you needed, which results in understaffing. Bad managers spontaneously decide to divide tips evenly among the servers, even if one server had an entire floor party the whole evening, and another server had two tables upstairs. Not only are bad managers the problem, but the restaurant owners tends to pay managers a salary that matches what they made hourly as servers. Not to mention these restaurants typically have no management training available.

If you haven’t worked in the service industry, there is no way you would know any of this because it’s so well hidden from the public. In fact, it’s hidden in order to enhance the guest experience. Because if the guest isn’t worrying about this stuff, they have a great meal, and they are more incentivized to tip well.

These may seem like unrelated experiences, but tipping in the service industry is the same as being nice to a koala keeper. If the food isn’t out in a timely manner, it could be that the cooks didn’t read the order correctly or at all. If the koalas can’t be held more than 7 times, it could be because it’s 104°F and it’s too hot to keep them out for a long time. If your waiter is short with you it’s probably because they have too many tables to draw out the conversation. If a zookeeper doesn’t break a rule for 1 person, it’s because they would have to break that rule for everyone.

Yes, the restaurant and the zoo need to train their employees and pay them fairly. No, the restaurant and zoo won’t do this. Therefore, unless you’re willing to join government and change policies, it’s out of your control. And moreover it’s out of the server’s control. So do the right thing. Treat them well, assume they are doing their best in a fucked up system, and pay them for their service. If you don’t, you’re implying that those people deserve to be poor and have a lower quality of life, because they are (in your eyes) lesser.  

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